The system really has been “figured” out in the secular dating world. The “pick-up” arts have practically become an entire body of literature and school of study. Men across the land pay good money for this knowledge and blogs offering advice are not lacking.
Hypergamy is defined as the female tendency to mate with dominate or high-status males or to be selective about one’s choice. It’s not a tendency based on love but rather love gets based on the tendency. Is this really going on with women? Well, considering the fact that the “pick-up arts” is basically a multi-million dollar industry and at the core of it is a class system that is said to be one of the most important things for a man to familiarize himself with, it would seem so.
The the pick-up artist connoisseurs have a male socio-sexual hierarchy for classifying men and if you peruse through any of the websites or forums for men and male issues you will undoubtedly come across these classifications. Pick-up artists will live by these like a code or rules. They have identified the system or reality, and now it must be beaten. The thing that makes the class system so accurate is the fact that it’s driven by the want of sex. They must be as pragmatic as possible. They could care less about ideals, morals, or ethics, honesty, or honor. That is the downfall of this attitude.
There are generally six classes of men in this pragmatic picture of the male social world and as an accurate picture of reality there is a lot that the Church can learn from this. For one, these are realities are not fixed. Whether a dude in your Church is horribly “omega” and people don’t know what to do with him, or a guy in the leadership is overly and irritatingly “alpha”, these characteristics are not indicative of who he really is. Who a man is is defined biblically by what he does. An alpha male who acts like a ego-driven jerk is not “showing himself an alpha-male” but rather showing himself an ego driven jerk. If a dude is being a shadowy creep he is not showing himself to be an Omega male. He is showing himself to be a shadowy creep.
Second, because these are not fixed, these characteristics can be fixed. This is what gives the “Omega” dude hope. He can learn how to lead and fight. This is what helps us understand many “Alpha” males–we can know that they are ego-driven fakes. None of these classifications are reflections of the new man. All born-again men are classified biblically as “sons of light” and “sons of day” (1 Thes. 5:5). That says a lot. If you find yourself pigeon-holed or stuck in one of these classifications then all the better for helping you identify your old man. The new man is way beyond these low-level, finite pictures that the world attempts to bind you to. The picture of the new man is eternal, endless, and rooted in Christ.
- The Alpha male. Alpha males are the leaders of men. The elite dudes. These are generally the guys every male wants to be because the most attractive women always seem to go for them. The pick-up arts are incessant about teaching men to “act” this part. Girl’s will be hanging on you all the time. Of course the reality is that women are attracted to the alpha characteristics of the guy and not his person. Put another way, it becomes all about what he is and not who he is. So as much as girls may be magnetized to this trait, the man, with all of his alpha-qualities, is still all alone. It’s machismo and even sociopathic in some cases. The attitude is a total breeding ground for a puffed up ego. Alpha males, with their long list of experiences with women and their tough guy shell, can and will still be just as depressed, anxious, lonely, and suicidal alcoholics as everyone else. Worse, most of these women who throw themselves at Alpha’s are idolizing his alpha-ness. They can’t control themselves around it so they bow in worship. This alpha-idolatry lust is as prevalent in women as sexual lust is in men. All women are subject to this temptation. That is why pick-up artists teach the alpha quality as a man’s best bet for bedding a gorgeous babe. Because even the most attractive women are weak against this temptation. Equally so, women will be taught to flaunt their sexuality in order to gain attention of the alpha-males because their sex is their best bet getting one and all men are weak against sexual temptation. This is the top of the sexual food chain, and wow, is it depressing.
- Beta male. These guys have popularity and do well with women, have some success, have good looks, and so forth. But they do not have the strength of character, courage, or confidence of the alpha male. They’d rather let the alpha-male be the generals and bear the brunt of the force. In some circles “beta male” is used as part of another scheme which more or less dichotomizes men between alpha male and beta male. The beta male in this situation is the one who is seen as immature, passive, or lacking confidence. Yet another scheme will break things down into a trichotomy–alpha, beta, and omega males (discussed below).
- Delta male. They would be the “normal” dudes. They’re typically intimidated more or less by the most attractive women. If they manage to land an attractive woman “out of their league” they’ll often struggle with insecurities of losing her…which is the very thing that drives her away. If you’ve heard the stories of some women who will actually remain (foolishly) attracted or drawn to an abusive boyfriend, this is part of the reason why. Abusiveness has a bit of an alpha-like flare to it and a woman who sticks around with a guy even though he is abusive is very weak against her temptation to it. Delta males are often seen as rhapsodizing their “better half” or playing the role of what has been dubbed, The White Knight. The White Knight is the nice guy who is always ready to rush to the aid of the woman. This is a mixed-bag with different views depending on where you go. It could be a good thing or it could be a bad thing. For those men like pick-up artists whose end goal is to get laid this is a bad thing. You do not want to be “the nice guy”. But there are also other angles to this phenomenon as well. Emmanuel Goldstein of the secular men’s site Return of Kings writes,
We do not live in a patriarchy. We live in an age where traditional masculinity is taken to be broken, hurtful, antiquated – all in all, a hideous anachronism at best, a source of mass rape, murder and oppression at worst. Traditional femininity is reviled as well, in softer denunciations. We live in a time when women and their ways are declared to be morally superior. Ours is a society where women are the final arbiters of morality – it is they who decide who is good and who is evil. Women have conviction and men are convicts. The white knight is an expression of this reality.
Source: Why White Knights Voluntarily Enslave Themselves to Women
This Delta male, White Knight class presents an obvious problem and also seems to be a wide spread issue within the Church. It is an essential and fundamental truth that women are also sinners. Convicts. Liars. Thieves. Adulterers. Deceivers. Deceived. Proud. Arrogant. Abusive. Self-Righteous. Etc. There is nothing in Scripture that says to go easy on women with regards to sin. The soul that sins shall die. (Eze. 18:20). If we don’t say something, they will be dead meat, lost in eternity. Likewise, if we don’t uphold these truths with women who are saved, they will eventually be led astray by arrogance and self-righteousness. Being afraid of women, to confront them, call them out, or to stand up to them, etc. will only do them a disservice in this regard.
- Gamma male. These guys are the “posterior puckerers” They are hoping to score by being omni-present, omni-available, omni-agreeable… It’s an acute weakness that all classes of men suffer from except true alphas. Which is another reason the alpha-male is not an ideal man. The only women he’ll attract are unwise ones whose thoughts and opinions won’t count for anything substantial or ones who just want a piece of his success or power.
- Sigma male. These are guys who are loners but not just loners, lone wolves. They are on their own and want nothing to do with community or leading other guys. They are often challenges to alpha males and often mistaken to be alphas by women. Like a lone ranger on his own, other men warily respect and prefer to avoid him. He doesn’t want people’s trust, nor can people trust him.
- Omega male. They consider these guys “the losers”. They are those with no confidence, have a desperate need to belong, deal with rejection issues, and wouldn’t know what to with a woman if she tripped and fell on him. They are also prone to being the most dangerous men of all classes because of the issue of rejection and abandonment. The pain they have been subjected to throughout their lives, wherever it began, is a spiritual disease that grows and spreads the longer it is not dealt with. The festering wound can grow until it overcomes the patient to the point where the suffering of others is rendered completely meaningless to them. Pain is designed to force you to focus on it for a reason.
This is the class system which these pick-up artists have gone by in their endless pursuit of female conquering crusades. It’s pragmatic and it works. They know the reality of hypergamy in women and that women will seek to date or marry up.
And it’s all depressing.
While many of us easily fit into one of these categories, the path of biblical manhood will lead us straight out of these constricted, compartmentalized, and broken ideas of men. These classifications are depressing because they all speak of us being on a single spectrum in life and that is a spectrum of a highly fragmented, fallen, and incomplete existence. That is why these are indicative of the weaknesses which exist in us all, weaknesses which God looks to deliver us from. The same applies to women wherever they are on the spectrum of brokenness. The Church holds an entirely different and much higher standard than these for us. When we read and study the manhood of Jesus, and of God’s revelation, we see a manhood that makes these classes look like fake plastic action figures. They come nowhere close to the real thing. But we don’t attain “mature manhood to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” Eph. 4:13 in this life. We only glimpse it and pursue it as our aim. The day is yet to come when we will all finally attain this fullness of Christ, and even then it will still be an eternal glory with no end.